March 31, 2013
As I’m sure any parent (of both two- and four-legged children) can attest, without fail, at least once, you will buy the latest and greatest, most enriching and expensive toy ever envisioned in human history, and your brood will play with the box it came in. A fortune spent on toys only to have the most simple, random trinket become the most beloved treasure. My boys take it a step further, as they do, and have found my belongings to be, by far, their most entertaining play things. I have wooden knitting needles dotted with tooth marks, flash drives containing all my digital life found stuffed under couches after an afternoon of panicked searching, lipsticks I still haven’t found. They have made a habit of re-purposing my things…things, sadly, that I was still very much purposing…
Very economic of them, I must say. Their most, most favorite (aside from my tooth guard that goes IN MY MOUTH that one of them carried off once: beyond disgusting- no wonder I grind my teeth in my sleep) is my old grey sweatshirt. They love to burrow into it and harass each other. I enjoy wearing it; but, like any weak, overindulgent parent, I cannot deny them. So, one recent afternoon, the boys and I played around with their favorite toy, Sweatshirt:
Camera straps and toes are fun toys too!
And what about this levitating sweatshirt sleeve could possibly be so intriguing?
That’s all for this thread. Stay tuned for, undoubtedly, more of my hijacked possessions…
March 18, 2013
In a previous post, I wrote about how I had knitted and crocheted some potholders for my Mom last Mother’s Day. Although I had griped at the time about the deceptively named “One-Hour Potholders” taking far longer than an hour for me to complete, I literally spent only days working on them before wrapping them up and sending them on their merry way. I also made them from a washable cotton yarn. And yet, despite the fact that they were painfully simple, finished inside of a week, and made to get dirty, my mother had refused to use them lest she sully them. Elevated to a status absurdly far beyond their actual value, there they sat in her kitchen, pristine and untouched. Today she claims that they do now get used…for things that don’t spill (yet still require the use of a potholder)…I suppose, cookies? Anyhow, in the meantime, I thought I might rectify this situation by making her even more things. Flooding the market, so to speak, so she would be forced to either use them or dedicate more and more of the space in her 1-bedroom apartment to her shrine of my beginner knitting efforts. With that in mind, this year I began by crocheting her a trio of cotton washcloths for her long-since-past February birthday. I was also able to tuck a couple of the tiny, scented guest soaps I bought (and have been holding on to for years because I am neither a B-n-B nor Martha Stewart) in with the gift communicating further, I hope, my desire that she actually utilize these things I have made for her. Your move, Mother.
I’d also like to note that I made a quick decision to toss a half dozen Rice Krispie treats in with her gift at the last minute. I had extra marshmallows that were going to go to waste, having bought an entire large bag and having used only four- for the mushroom stems of my holiday yule log. So, I sent the Greek out for Rice Krispies and took, I don’t know, a whopping 10 minutes to assemble the 3 ingredients and cut them into squares. Fast forward a couple hours to the birthday dinner and my mother squealing with delight at receiving them, a dessert composed mostly of air and requiring about 0.8 minutes of labor and 14¢ per square, proving definitively that the less time and money you devote to a gift, the more my Mom will absolutely swoon over it.